The months that follow summer have always felt like a tangled pile of sweaters I never got around to folding. Everything blurs together, responsibilities stack up, I overwork myself, overpromise my time, and somehow say yes to every plan within a 10-mile radius. And while the holiday season is one of my favorite times of year for all the obvious reasons (seasonal Starbucks drinks, gift shopping, festive parties) it’s also somehow become the most stressful stretch of my adult life.
During this season, I’m constantly in motion: I wake up early to run, log my eight hours at work, squeeze in a few more for my side gig, meet friends for dinner and drinks, then attempt to read before inevitably falling asleep mid-sentence. On top of my regular routine, my social life goes from a steady hum to full-blown surround sound. Every weekend is busy with holiday parties, Friendsgivings or late-night missions to see the Dyker Heights lights. And layered on top of all of that is the emotional weight (and endless research) of trying to find the perfect gift for each family member. At the same time, work moves into overdrive. By the time New Year’s Day rolls around, I feel like I’ve run a marathon while carrying a fully decorated Christmas tree on my back.
That’s why I’ve always disliked the typical “winter arc.” You know the one—the productivity arc, the disciplined arc, the hustle-through-the-holidays arc. It’s the mindset that from October through the New Year, you should be doubling down on fitness, finances, early mornings, clean eating, or whatever ambitious goal you’ve set. I understand the appeal, I really do: get ahead of the resolutions, start strong, build momentum. But the thing is, I already have a plate so full it’s basically a platter. Adding even more structure—during the most chaotic stretch of the year—doesn’t feel inspiring. It feels like punishment.
One morning, while squeezing in a cappuccino date with a friend between meetings and a looming to-do list, I was mid-vent when she suggested I slow down. I literally laughed. Slow down? In this economy? With this calendar? I brushed it off at first. But as I sat there, something about the quiet moment stuck with me. Maybe she was right. Maybe I needed to try something different. So I decided to create my own winter arc—one that wasn’t about doing more, but about doing less. One that wasn’t rooted in discipline, but in gentleness. My winter arc became a soft reset. A season of rest, reflection, and redefining progress as peace. Enter: the Soft Reset winter arc.
“I feel like I finally reclaimed a season that used to swallow me whole. In choosing softness, I made room for joy again.”
My “Soft Reset” Winter Arc
I started how any other self-aware overachiever would: I made a plan. Color-coordinated, highlighted, and written in my cutest notebook (because at the end of the day, I’m still me). But instead of mapping out a full schedule of tasks and goals, I focused on how I would actually prioritize doing less. How I could create space instead of filling every corner of my day with something “productive.” I started with the easiest place to scale back: fitness. I love working out, but during my soft reset, I decided to cut my training from five strict days a week to three. Suddenly I had mornings free for reading a few pages of my book, folding laundry before work, or just sitting with my coffee while the sun came up. The crazy part is once I stopped forcing myself to chase that five-day streak, my runs got better, I had more energy, and I didn’t have to drag myself out of bed at 6 a.m. half-asleep.
Evenings were next. I stopped treating my calendar like a Tetris board and left actual blank space. I canceled plans I didn’t want to attend. I skipped work events that sounded fun but would’ve meant sprinting between a meeting and a dinner with friends. Saying no felt impossible at first (I’ve always been a yes-man) but it ended up feeling freeing. I went from being at the mercy of my calendar to actually owning it. With the extra space, I let myself get to bed early, I wandered through bookstores at night just because it felt comforting, I made soup, I journaled when I wanted to reflect (not because it was on some “ideal routine” checklist). Almost immediately, my mind felt clearer and I was actually present, not performing some version of holiday productivity.
And the strangest part was how everything improved. My work felt more creative because I actually had energy. My friendships felt deeper because I wasn’t rushing through every interaction. And the holiday prep or events finally felt warm again, not overwhelming or performative. Just… good. The kind of good that feels sustainable and stays with you long after the season ends.
Mid-Holiday Check-In
I haven’t followed my Soft Reset perfectly (not even close!). There were nights when a friend texted me about a last-minute plan, and I couldn’t resist. There were mornings when I laced up my sneakers and ran extra miles simply because my friend’s Strava route looked too good not to try. And honestly, that’s the beauty of it. This reset wasn’t meant to be perfect. That was the whole point. It was meant to be soft, gentle, flexible. A reset without rigid rules or punishing expectations. For someone like me, who thrives on structure, softness doesn’t come naturally. My default is discipline, my routine is precise, my calendar is carefully orchestrated. The soft reset wasn’t about abandoning all of that, it was about giving myself permission to bend the rules I built. To let the edges blur. To redefine what progress looks like. And that works in both directions. Sometimes doing less was the win, but sometimes doing a little more because I felt inspired was the win. Either way, it was mine to define.
Now it’s mid-November, and I’m halfway through this intentional slow season. And for the first time in years, I don’t feel like I’m bracing myself for the impact of the holidays. I don’t feel the familiar pressure building or the exhaustion creeping in from trying to be everywhere at once. I don’t feel like I’m sprinting through the last months of the year with a forced smile and a calendar that hates me. I feel like I finally reclaimed a season that used to swallow me whole. In choosing softness, I made room for joy again. Real joy, not the kind squeezed between commitments or checked off like another holiday task. My soft reset winter arc didn’t just interrupt my overachiever cycle, it cracked it open. It showed me another way to move through these months–one that leaves space for quiet mornings, warm drinks, long conversations, and actually being present.
And now that I’ve felt this shift, I don’t want to go back. This new way of moving, this gentler rhythm, feels like something I want to carry with me every year. Sure, there may be seasons where I go back to my over-booked and over-worked baseline, but this soft reset serves as a reminder that I’m allowed to slow down once in a while. I’m allowed to choose ease. I’m allowed to make the holidays feel like a season again instead of a survival mission. Halfway through, and I already know this soft reset isn’t temporary, it’s the beginning of a new tradition—one built on softness, intention, and finally giving myself the space to breathe.
Alyssa Rotunno, Contributing Writer
Alyssa Rotunno is a NYC-based writer with a focus on beauty, fashion, shopping, travel, and culture. Her work has appeared in Real Simple, InStyle, Travel+Leisure, Parade, and other national outlets, where she brings a sharp, timely lens to the products, places, and trends worth knowing. She’s endlessly curious about what people are talking about—and loves connecting the dots between trends, products, and real life.
Feature images credited to: Alina Tomylko | Pexels, Eleave, Ella McMeans | Dupe
The post The ‘Soft Reset’ Winter Arc That Helped Me Finally Enjoy the Holidays Again appeared first on The Everygirl.
